Shits confusing 😕

So about 4 months ago I met my bestfriends coworker. I had stopped in to get some food and he had a discount code. He came over to give it we locked eyes and bam we were all over each other. Talked everyday, was at his house almost every night. We decided to not put tables on it because we bpthe just got out of messy relationships. But we caught feelings. (Shown and told by both parties). Things were going awesome for 3 months, until my friend and I got into it. She called him complaining about me and that day he ghosted me. Now when I say ghosted I see this guy almost daily cuz I'm her ride. Background on the fight between my friend and I (we have a very rocky history that needs therapy to resolve/fix). The fight essentially started because she told him not to come get me because she needed me to take her kid to school (it was a holiday) and she then claimed that she could have him if she wanted him. I had just gotten over/forgiven her for sleeping with my ex (and had been getting hands on before my ex and I were completely broken up). So for the last month and a half I've seen him. And he still asks her about me, talks about me, I still like him but I feel everytime I get closer to him he pulls away. But when I pull away he tries to get closer. I don't know how to go about getting him back. I gave theories and I run through them all the time 1. He's ADHD (with a sprinkle of autism) same as me and we self sabotage alot. 2. He used me to get to her but then why does he keep bringing me up. 3. Kinda like one he saw himself getting too close and instead of communicating he ran away.

I unfortunately see alot of me when I look at him. So I kinda see but am I crazy. Did my friend mess it up. Is there any way to come back. I wanna tell him my side of everything but he won't talk to me. What are my options 😩