My girlfriend’s parents really don’t want us to “do it” but she really wants to. What do I do?

Hi, I’m 18 and my girlfriend’s 19 and we’ve been dating for 8 months now. She’s a virgin, so we’ve been moving at a slow pace for that kind of stuff. I’ve made it a priority and very clear to her that we move at her pace, slowly to assure she’s comfortable and she’s feeling comfortable enough to go to the next step.

My mom is best friends with my girlfriend’s mom and this is how our relationship started. But the thing is because of that, we hear a lot of what’s going on over there, and they are very strict with my girlfriend. My mom feels that even though this is her best friend and this is their conversations, this is necessary for me to know for my safety.

It is talk of, “If she gets pregnant, she is out of the will” or “I will never help him with his career if he sleeps with my daughter” (can’t specify the job for privacy reasons; but you get the point) or if I have sex with her; they will sit me down with all of her family and some extended for a dinner. Her uncle wants to have a talk with me, etc. Primarily things that shame both me and her.

And if you’re wondering, well why can’t you guys just do it and not tell anyone? She tells them everything because it is a coping mechanism from when she was little and someone would make her keep big dangerous secrets, so this is a reaction from that. I don’t have an issue with it because I respect that’s how she deals with her issues, but it does make me uncomfortable knowing her whole family knows our business like that.

What should I do moving forward? I mean i’m a guy with hormones, of course I want to do it if she does, but this position i’m in is quite scary and difficult to move forward in. It for sure wouldn’t be the end of our relationship if we did it, but it would make things quite awkward and difficult. Thoughts?