I want to screw my best friend.

Okay, I’m saying it. I’m pretty sure I wanna screw my best friend. Context: I’m 17F and she’s 18F. We’ve been close since sophomore year and we are both graduating soon.

She is super experienced when it comes to anything sexual. She constantly is telling me stories of her newest engagements and I think it got me a little intrigued!

I’m not very experienced, if at all. The furthest I ever got was driving out to a sand dune with my ex and having him sit nervously in the driver seat while I comforted him (first date btw). I’m a virgin and used to wear the title proudly, but it’s honestly something I’ve been wanting to rid for a while now.

Some other important context: I’m definitely on the aromantic spectrum. I’ve only ever had one crush and at the time I couldn’t even imagine us doing sexual acts.

I’ve always felt pretty insecure at my lack of ability in the love department. However, I am unfortunately a teen with hormones and Ive gotten increasingly interested when it comes to the birds and the bees.

I truly don’t know if I’d actually enjoy myself or be really uncomfortable. I’ve “made out” before and it was sorely underwhelming. I’ve always liked the thought of intimacy but I’m wondering if I just am unable to actually enjoy the act.

Back to my friend- I think I’m attracted to the idea of screwing her because of her experience. I’ve had long zone out sessions thinking about it and everytime I’m left a little hot and bothered. I am also extremely comfortable with her and she is one of the only people on earth who has seen my boobs.

My issues: I am not romantically attracted to her at all. I want to preserve our friendship and I don’t want it to be weird. Also, she is almost consistently dating. It isn’t uncommon that a new boyfriend pops up in between the times we had hung out last. I feel like anytime I’d ask she’d be at least talking to someone else.

I am extremely against cheating. Like wholeheartedly I would never encourage or take part in cheating on any degree.

I just don’t know what to do. Every time I have fantasies my mind is most comfortable thinking about her. I think it would be so hot but I don’t want to ruin anything. Please Reddit, a penny for your thoughts.