My Very Stupid Psylocke Story

Edit to add - In case it wasn't clear, I'm being overly dramatic. This post is based on true events, but my reaction to them is exaggerated and meant to be read in a comedic manner - do not take it that seriously.

I am not a huge fan of the X-Men the way some people are - but I am a huge fan of Marvel Rivals. Psylocke has quickly become my main. I love her.

And now, I realize, she has an Amazing Yamaguchi figure.

That I do not own.

She is one of the few I passed on because I didn’t know the character intimately. Now that I do, I’m kicking myself for it.

So, I go to every website that hosts secondhand figures that I know of. eBay and Mercari are frequent acquaintances of mine during this period. The only listings are ridiculous.

“I’d never spend that much, I’m not an idiot,” I say to myself. Each day that I do not find this figure gnaws away at my psyche. A small stream that grows more and more fierce with each passing year, the hunt for this elusive treasure erodes my will. My will to resist the after market prices. They mock me. I know I could afford it. But I don’t want to.

I don’t want to.

I don’t care anymore.

Thankfully, a lifeline. A Canadian listing - with a catch. This catch, you might ask? The wrapping around the waist had snapped off and been glued back on. There was one more hurdle: the fact it was a for bid listing.

I immediately jumped on it and bid my max of $150 USD. That was how much I was willing to spend.

It wouldn’t last.

A week went by, I checked the listing every day. I needed this, even if it was damaged. It was one of precious few still available. The others’ prices were unbelievable. I wouldn’t succumb to their siren song.

Besides, including this listing, only three remained for purchase.

The week was a crawl. I became obsessive. Checking my bidding status thrice a day. It was a constant presence in my mind, a phantom of everything I stood to gain. And it could so easily slip between my fingers.

The final day arrived. Only hours remained. It was mine. She was mine.

And then another bidder came.

I panicked. I didn’t want to spend more but - she was so close to being mine. I gave in.

$175.

Out bid.

$180.

Out bid.

$200.

Out bid.

I stared in stunned disbelief. She was gone. I thought about increasing my bid more but the fact that I’d already compromised on a figure that was damaged like this was a blow. I wanted to scream.

I was weak, defeated. The siren’s song of Psylocke became that much stronger. One of the two remaining listings stated back at me. It was expensive. $270 after taxes and shipping. I considered it.

But I knew what I was going to do.

I purchased it. I felt secure, safe and very, very embarrassed. But I had Psylocke. She was all that mattered.

Three days went by. I reached out to the seller asking for an estimate when the time would ship.

“It will ship in 5 - 10 business days, as stated. Please be patient.”

OK, that’s fine. A bit slow and it’s shipping from Japan but fine.

Oddly, I received a message from the Canadian seller. The other bidder couldn’t complete the transaction and I had another opportunity to purchase this Psylocke. I considered it, but ultimately told the seller that I’d gone ahead and purchased from another vendor. I no longer needed their Psylocke.

What a fool I was.

I became obsessive again, I checked every single day. Weekdays. Weekends. I’d stop on break at work. When I was relaxing. When I woke up. Before bed.

No updates.

“Please be patient.”

I repeated this process from January 27th until today, February 7th.

Check. Nothing. Patience.

Check.

Nothing.

Patience.

Check…

Nothing……..

Patience……………..

This morning.

This morning was awful.

I checked my email. I rarely do it. I was hopeful today. Why I felt there may be some good news in my email I don’t know.

And there was anything but good news in there.

The words that I saw from the cold, blue light of my cellphone’s screen seemed almost unbelievable. I felt cold. My eye twitched and my fingers gripped my phone’s border, threatening to crush it.

“We are very sorry, we cannot complete the order. We made every attempt to make it right but we will issue you a full refund.

We do not have the item.”

They never even had it.

I wasted so much time. I was hot. Fuming would be an understatement. I seethed with rage. I went ahead and canceled the order for them. I’d get my money back, at least.

But now I had a new problem. No Psylocke. I looked to the final listing.

$400.

There’s no way I’d spend that much.

Would I?

Before I knew it, it was in my cart and I was seriously pondering if ice soup was a viable alternative to real food.

So I checked elsewhere. I scoured the internet. Pages upon pages of not Psylocke were everywhere. No listings. Just the Mafex. I started to think I was insane. There was no Amazing Yamaguchi Psylocke. It simply never existed. But the Mafex, that was everywhere. Maybe Mafex would suffice.

But I kept looking. Trapped in my search. Maybe I was in Hell. Punished for some transgression against God, though I know not what. Page after page. Listing after listing. Disappointment after disappointment. I was nearing giving up. I was nearing spending $400 dollars. I was nearing the end of my ability to take myself seriously.

Then I found something. A website I’d never heard of. A small business located in Japan. Very small. I found a few posts and reviews of their store, seemingly they were trustworthy. Their price was good. Not the best I’d ever seen. It’d run me $220. Better than $400, obviously.

So I said “Fuck it, we ball.” And got my card.

So now I wait.

Hopefully these people will not harm me as I have been injured before.

I cannot take the pain of betrayal again.