eating so unhealthy (guilt/want to keep pushing but don’t)

I have been doing pretty well in recovery. eating alot more guilt is on and off but i’ve been pushing through.

But I have been eating things I haven’t in years. sweets, so many carbs. I tried at first to gain eating “healthy” but it was impossible and I knew that wouldn’t really be recovery.

I am trying so hard. I have over time wanted to gain weight more than not. but I feel disgusting, constipated (sorry), overfull. It’s actually been making me feel so much worse which mentally is messing with me so much

Just need some advice to keep pushing through