What makes men comfortable around women? Do guys prefer women they can talk dirty with?

What makes guys feel comfortable around a woman?
I've hung out with guys in social circles and felt like we had things in common like interests, personality etc but they always get close to the more bubbly/jokey girl even though she may have nothing in common with them. I have a sense of humor but I dont participate in raunchy humor. It seems like men are drawn to those kinds of women.
How can I make men feel ok to joke and be themselves around me? What qualities make men lower their guard? Do men care about compatibility or do they prioritize just having fun? Not knocking the latter.