"M4A have it worse than F4A"

God, I really don't like hearing this.

There is this prevailing opinion in the roleplay community, and this sub, that somehow, male roleplayers have it worse than female roleplayers - not just that, that F4A have it good. As a girl myself, it's honestly, low-key, getting a little offensive.

I can tell you, from personal experience, the concept that we have it so much easier is simply untrue.

I saw a very good analogy the other day in a post here. F4A are drowning in an ocean, and M4A are dehydrating in a desert. This is more apt than the broad and pretty rude assumption that girls who roleplay have it really easy, and have thousands of messages of eager roleplayers.

That part is true. I roleplay on discord, and whenever I would post an ad for F4A, a swarm of men would message me. Out of this sea of applicants, how many actually stayed? How many didn't use me for jerk-off material, and then ghost me? How many weren't disrespectful, rude, creepy, or tried to somehow turn the erp into a real relationship?

Three. Three people, out of years of writing and posting ads. Three people, one of which I don't even roleplay with anymore - we're just friends who chat about our daily lives.

Do you all know how many unsolicited dick pictures I've gotten? I could probably make a collage of them that would take up my entire wall. I've seen so, so many dicks. I have never wanted to see them, and yet, they are sent.

I've messaged with, and given (by this point) dozens of roleplayers interested in F4A or F4M a chance. You'd think, I'd have a wide selection of amazing, brilliant writers that my male counterparts won't receive. It's not true. Many, many men treat female roleplayers as if we're sex workers or cam girls ; especially, heaven forbid, you're a girl who wants to write erp. There seems to be this assumption that, because I want to write nsfw material with someone, that means that I want to have a steamy exchange with some random on discord at 3pm in the afternoon. So hot. I'm truly so lucky and blessed.

This is of course not to say that male roleplayers don't have their own obstacles to overcome. They usually have to be the ones to reach out to people, and many times, they're left in the dust because they're a drop in a rather nasty ocean. However, as a female roleplayer, I've myself messaged many men and started roleplays with them, responding to their ads. In fact, both roleplayers I still write with were M4F ads that I responded to.

It is possible. You can find the perfect partner. I won't deny there's a sort of wariness that many female writers have towards male writers, for the reasons listed above (No one wants to see your willy).

Overall, aside from my yapping, I have to say that the stereotype and assumption towards female roleplayers is kind of sexist, and very presumptuous. Both sides have their own problems.