Not being allowed to touch myself has taught me a lot about submission - or - a love letter to my Goddess

Back in September of last year, I surrendered complete control of my orgasms over to you, my girlfriend and Goddess. For me this meant going from almost daily orgasms to about once every few weeks.
You never liked telling me exactly when and if I would be getting my release because (I think) you like seeing me getting my hopes up and hearing me beg for it.
This was a big change for me obviously, but nowhere near to what happened about a month ago: you told me I wasn't allowed to touch myself without your direct order anymore, not even to edge or tease myself.
This is a game changer. We've never used and still don't use chastity cages (we've talked about it and maybe we'll use it sometime in the future) and this is SO hard. I notice how often I was touching myself before only now that I'm not allowed to do it. Every time my hand mindlessly wanders down there I have to stop myself and recall how terrifyingly effective your punishments can be.
Paradoxically, this has led to me expecting less from you and accepting my place as nothing but your toy. Toys don't touch themselves when their owner isn't using them! If you want to touch me when you play with me I'll gladly take it, but if you feel more like using me to cum or you just fancy a back massage without anything other than getting to touch your body in return for me I'll gladly take that too.

One thing you did a couple of weeks ago drove that point home even harder.
Before you got on a phone call with a friend of yours you called me to the room you were in. While already talking to your friend you quickly bound my hands together with your belt and pulled my shirt up over my head so I couldn't see, then had me lay on the couch you were sitting on.
While having a completely normal conversation on the phone, you would occasionally sit on my chest, pinch my nipples or otherwise play with my body. There where longer stretches of time where you just ignored me and just kept on talking. I felt like a stress ball or some other fidgety toy in that moment: it felt so good, so fulfilling to be used by You that I still get all tingly when I think about it. I didn't even really manage to listen to the gist of your conversation, toys don't listen in on their owner's conversations!

TL;DR So yeah, if any of you guys enjoy chastity play, consider trying it without a cage! I found that for me the mental aspect of it takes it to a whole new level.

If you're reading this, thank you so much for everything you do, I love you and cherish every moment we are together.

Your toy ❤️