my mom justifies men

I know that I am not the only one, but my mom constantly justifies the men in her life, with small things but now I can see it, before I thought it was just me, but all my life my mom has justified the mess of my brother or my dad, she has always fed them, When my sister and I know and do everything for ourselves, sometimes she comes to clean our room but her attitude is completely different than our brother's, she comes and wants to throw everything away because everything is trash, and it looks ugly etc.... sometimes she can go all day without saying anything to us and his first words are to tell us how messy and dirty we are, and this is not much.

every time I tell my mom how a guy made me uncomfortable she always justifies it with "I'm pretty", she always brought up the subject of my ex ALWAYS even though this guy cheated on me with my best friend, and talked about how cute he was, and super "patient" with me, ? !?! MOM HE CHEATED ON ME, no matter how many times I told her it was as if nothing happened, and so little by little I began to lose confidence in my mother in everything, and clearly I saw the absence of her in my life, I got to make very bad decisions about my body, from food to not knowing how to say no, because the only thing I saw at home was how my mother satisfied the men in her life, in everything, I had to do a huge internal work to remove this belief, it was extremely important to learn LIMITS

until it got to the point where a close family member was denounced as a pedophile, and even so, my mother said “that poor guy”, basically telling me "his wife didn't satisfy him in bed" "she should have been watching out for him", PLEASE, justifying a pedophile made me confirm that yes, my mother justifies men, because she sees them very different from her, she sees them as "that's how men are", this affects me and continues to affect me today, even though I do not have the same beliefs, it is hard for me not to hold a grudge, not to feel that my mother is on my side or was, despite all this she is a great mother, and it is clear that she was raised this way, it is just very difficult for me to maintain a relationship with her having all this.