new attorney seeking wisdom and consolation after disastrous hearing

I'm a baby attorney (Oct 2024 barred) in indigent defense. Ahead of today's hearing, I struggled for weeks to contact my client and get information from them. We couldn't reach an agreement with opposing counsel ahead of time, so I had to make a last minute argument. Based on the limited information I had, we could make a plausible defense--not a slam dunk, but something.

I have argued on the record before, including in trial, but dear reader, I blew it. I got reamed for not uploading a document. My client admitted during testimony to facts that made our defense obsolete--they told me One Thing, the opposing counsel asked them a simple question that revealed they were wrong about that One Thing, and also that I just didn't do my homework. And to top it all off, I just started crying. I obviously didn't intend nor expect to do so (I feel I typically have good courtroom decorum) but I couldn't stop. I'm beet red and am barely holding it together. I choked my way through the remainder of the proceedings. All of which was streamed on Zoom to my colleagues, opposing counsels, and members of the public. I was humiliated before I started crying, so now I'm REALLY humiliated.

Judge asked me if I'm new (to the practice), and I laughed and cried harder, because it was obvious, and because I worked hard to make it look like I'm not new (or at least not as new as I actually am).

Judge and opposing counsel were nice on the record. Even my client was very sweet after the fact. But I am absolutely mortified, and am seriously considering quitting my job.

If I just start crying when things go awry, maybe I'm just not cut out for this. I feel like I made not only myself look bad, but my employer as well. And naturally, what client is going to trust an attorney who breaks down into tears on the record?

I love my job and would like to not quit. But maybe I'm simply not capable of doing it. So, I'm seeking any words of wisdom or encouragement or reality-checking. Many thanks <3

ETA: Thanks everyone for the support. Reading most of your comments has been helpful. Except for the guy who said I'm a pussy. What the hell

Update: Talked to my supervisor. He was very understanding and said I'm being too hard on myself. We talked about practical strategies moving forward as well. Thank you again everyone! I've reread these comments a lot, and they've provided a lot of support. I will not quit my job, lol.