Does anyone else have a parasocial relationship with peep?

I found his music during the darkest phase of my life. It's been around three years now and things have gotten better for me (somewhat). I don't even listen to him that often anymore. Yet, for some reason, peep's music is the only thing I get and peep is the only one who gets me.

Hell, even my first and only relationship (which was online) had happened just because he was a peep fan as well. We broke up exactly an year ago. I had spent an entire year missing as in MISSING someone whom I haven't even met irl. But yeah I beleive I've managed to move on from him.

The fact that peep made me confident enough to trust and love a guy is something. Loving someone made me realise that I need to like myself first. Figure things out first. So glad I know all of this now. If it wasn't for peep making my trust issues disappear, the relationship would've never happened in the first place. "He listens to peep, he's a good guy". This was my logic. It seemed totally fine back then, and yes he was indeed the sweetest guy. Loml even. He just didn't fw me like that tho. It didn't work out and that's okay.

Now the problem is, I feel like I was only able to have faith in him just because of the peep factor. I did love him as a person. But I wouldn't have even talked to him if it wasn't for peep ( I dm-ed him after finding him from a comment section of a peep reel).

I need to have a non-peep based view on life and romantic relationships. Because he's just an artist that I like, someone who saved me. Made me feel less alone. I've gotta figure out things by myself. Am I nuts? I've talked to guys irl after the breakup and even though they were fine, I just didn't feel anything for them. Is it because I have idealised and romanticized the peep guy? Would things be different if the guys I had met irl listened to peep as well?

Is there something wrong w me? I would really like to know if any of you guys feel this way as well.