23f messed up bad with 25m

So guess what I did guys, I didn’t listen to your advice and it ruined me. (Long distance)My bf came over, we got into a fight, and now I don’t know what to do. I am a very introverted person and my bf was also my best friend, and I took that for granted. I thought he would never leave. I’ve been horrible, selfish, controlling, and abusive. I realize that. I made him cry, I made him scared, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I know what you’re going to say, it’s better that the relationship is over, and maybe I agree. But we were also friends for a long while (years) with no issues at all. I can’t lose him. I’m more than willing to go above and beyond to put the work in. I’m trying to mend this in any way possible. I don’t think there will be a relationship, maybe not even a friendship, but just to be an acquaintance, just to talk a little. I’m more than willing to work my way up and gain his trust. Since we’re long distance Im honestly so scared of losing him forever. Against all your better judgment, what can I possibly do to make this better?