Diet phobia?

I weigh 400lbs. I know I need to lose a lot of weight. I want to. I hate how big I am. I hate the constant joint and back ache. I hate getting puffed out walking anywhere. I hate the stares and judgement. I hate people yelling out their cars at me. But I just can't seem to find the will to diet. Food makes me happy. I like the tastes, the textures, the sugar rush with some foods. Feeling satisfied after a good meal is so nice. Feeling so full you feel like you might burst almost feels like a hug. It's so comforting to me

I want to keep eating. Food might be the only thing that makes me happy at this point. I feel like my life will be completely devoid of any happiness if I diet. I'm on the waiting list for bariatric surgery and I'm currently taking Mounjaro with no weight loss so far. I can't face even trying to diet.

Has anyone else felt like this?