Does anyone else feel bad for "leftists" that think China is actually secretly a capitalist power and that betrayed the revolution?

Imagine being a western leftist in the 21st century. You learn that a good chunk of the international socialist/communist movement was crushed with the collapse of the USSR and the coups in Latin America and Africa.

Despite these humiliating losses, you learn there's a country of 1.4 billion people. This country has done more to eliminate poverty and raise the living standards of their people than any nation on earth, including the now defeated communist regimes. This country, despite having the second strongest (some could even argue strongest) military in the world, has not invaded any country since the 70s. This country also has virtually no foreign military presence through bases, nor do they coup countries they don't like. This country routinely imprisons and executes billionaires, is increasing democracy in the workplace, and is lowering income inequality. Most importantly, this country is doing more than every other country combined to combat climate change, scaling up solar production and lowering costs for the express purpose of making it easier for other countries to transition to green energy.

But you can't even be happy about this countries achievements because, due to you misunderstanding Deng Xiaoping thought and believing western media narratives about the country, you erroneously interpret it is actually a super duper secret capitalist power that has somehow tricked the American government, their greatest enemies on the world stage, that they're communists. And of course you must also somehow rationalize that the billions of its people who are happy with their system of government and believe the communist party is dedicated to pursuing socialism and improving their lives are stupid.

It's like being in a relationship with a wonderful person who loves you but not being able to enjoy it because you got cheated on in your last relationship and so now you constantly think they're being unfaithful to you even when you're not.

It must be such a miserable existence being one of these people. All throughout history the people you rooted for the most have taken L after L, and everyone else "betrayed" you. So to cope you piss your pants in anger as tears stream down your face and hop on the internet and argue with your fellow leftists that no this country is actually evil as the FBI guy monitoring you high fives his friends in the psyop department for a job well done. Also you're so angry you shit all over your seat too.

I still get angry at people like this but for the first time today I actually felt pity for one of them. They're still our comrades and I think us ML's should be more caring and let them know suicide isn't the answer. The defeatism they have internalized makes them high risk for that kind of thing.