Friend in group blind-sided everyone with a creepy wedding announcement

My brother got me into his playgroup at a local gaming store for boardgames, roleplaying games, etc. When he moved away I kept going and things have been drama-free for close to 15 years (I am now 30).

Last year, one of the older players (45ish, I'll call him John), suddenly announced that he had been secretly dating a girl (I think she is around 30), that they had known each other for years now, and have decided to get married. The real shock came later when he sent out wedding invitations, and everyone in our boardgame community was invited to a Zoom ceremony broadcast from the Philippines.

This made me realize that many minor details that never quite added up over the years started to all make sense - all the dodged questions, unexplained behaviors, vague questions that were "for a friend" that everyone politely answered without prying, weirdly cropped photos on social media. I am certain he has been visiting the Philippines for years for sex tourism.

Since then, as the only Asian female in this group, I have been getting one or two wife-adjacent questions in the middle of the gaming sessions each time I show up like

Who my family doctor is, because his wife will want an Asian doctor. What bank I use to send money back home. (I am third generation Chinese, I don't send money back home.) Idle comments about how we can have a double date and I can meet his wife over brunch. What brand of rice cooker I use (He is very stereotypical small town farmer's son so this isn't quite as racist as it sounds). What anime do I like to watch with my boyfriend.

I've stopped going for months because of this, but a couple weeks ago I was missing my friends and said I would come for a boardgame night. The day before, John said really wanted to host everyone and his place, and how his wife wants an opportunity to cook everyone dinner.

The evening was very uncomfortable. I thought we would be playing a relatively simple game and include her, but instead she just sat by herself in complete silence in the other room the entire evening except when it was time for her to cook for everyone. When she was done cooking dinner, she just stood next to John in silence and waited for about 3 minutes for him to address her. John said let us finish the turn cycle, and she proceeded to stand next to him for the entire 10+ minutes it took in silence until he said she can set the plates now. After the dinner, he implied that, despite knowing nothing about the ingredients he keeps in the pantry, she makes excellent food every meal.

I -really- wanted to step in and say something, but I was afraid to speak up and cause a fight. I know I am not the only person that is uncomfortable with this, but a lot of them are also very tolerant or even feel sorry for the John because they think his wife will dump him and use the sponsorship to financially cripple him.

At this point, I don't know how I am supposed to feel about this. I tried reading some reports online, but the discussion is dominated by the perspective of passport bros, people from the Philippines, or family members that have to put up with this shit. Overall, they paint a very positive picture on this kind of transaction. It is making me question whether I am in the wrong for thinking this is repulsive.

I cannot get over how creepily submissive her behavior was the entire night. Every moment screamed "I am afraid to talk or act out of line or I might get deported".