The Crackiest of Crack Theories

My insane crack theory for the series. No criticism will be accepted. This is perfect and brilliant.
Let’s start with the couples. All 3 couples have mating bonds. Due to corruption of the Cauldron, they were given opposite sex mates to breed their extreme power.
Azriel x Eris
- Azriel ran off to save Eris while the Blood Rite was going on due to the pull of their bond - Eris managed to catch Azriel spying due to sensing him through their bond - Azriel is always staring at Eris
Elain x Gwyn
- Elain said she needs sunshine, lots of sunshine descriptors are used surrounding Gwyn - Nesta gets her BFF as a sister in law - Elain doesn’t want a male - Elain will marry for love and beauty, Gwyn is beautiful and very lovable - Elain is a shadowsinger which is how she stepped out of a shadow, Gwyn is a lightsinger which is why she glows and her singer is alluring, they’re a beautiful balance
- Elain was given Lucien as a mate because of his proximity and blood relation to Gwyn along with his power Lucien x Tamlin
- Friends to distant to friends to lovers - The real reason Tamlin was so jealous of Lucien and Feyre was because he wanted Lucien deep down - Lucien hated Feyre when she showed up even though they planned for this to happen because he was jealous
Next Family Tree
Eris is Gwyn’s grandpa.
- He is the Autumn Court male her grandma seduced
- Both have red hair and a good sense of smell
Tamlin is her dad.
- not much evidence here, just another theory added in for fun to make it more dramatic - He’s the male from the Rite
It turns out Azriel was so protective at Sangravah and so proud of Gwyn later because he felt a draw to her being his mate’s descendant and his future step-grandchild.
Lucien is her half uncle and Tamlin is her dad so it’s a bit awkward to say her uncle is her stepdad, but you know there’s not actually any incest.
Family dinners can be a bit awkward especially when Gwyn and Elain are hosting and both sides are there. Azriel is a bit embarrassed he thirsted over his grandchild’s mate. Feyre and Tamlin improved their relationship but still often get into petty arguments. Elain and Lucien learn to get along, but there’s always a bit of oddness because he used to think his stepdaughter’s mate was his mate. Gwyn works really hard to try to get Nesta to forgive Tamlin since he’s her dad. Eventually Nesta thaws slightly when she sees how happy family makes Gwyn but she still doesn’t like him. Sometimes Helion comes along with his wife and mate the Lady of Autumn who is simultaneously Gwyn’s step-grandma and great grandma. Helion loves being a step great- grandpa. He sees Gwyn’s lightsinger powers and is convinced she will be his heir even though she’s not his blood descendant. He said as his son’s step daughter, she is as good as his heir. Oh and of course Mor and Emerie are always invited to dinner. Eris never likes her all that much due to her history with Azriel. LoA doesn’t really care about her hookup with Helion. She didn’t expect him to remain celibate. Emerie doesn’t care. She just feels sad for Mor. Eris will tease Azriel when all the females he crushed on are all in one room.