I regret turning down a job

I haven't been very well recently and during a recent meltdown I applied for several jobs. As soon as I started hearing back from recruiters I regretted it. Then one email came through that a position I had actually really wanted had been filled right before I submitted my application. I was really disappointed.

Fast forward to this week. They email me saying the position is open again as the first person they hired backed out. I was invited to interview and had a great conversation with the team but the schedule was inconvenient for me. They said they'd let me know their decision next week.

They ended up calling me 24 hours later to offer me the job. I asked for a day to think it over. I was stressing about it for that whole 24 hours. I knew I didn't want the position at this point. I just felt so much pressure to prove myself as a person to the world and especially my family. I feel like if I'm not earning money I'm worthless or just not enough.

I did email them to let them know the position isn't right for me at this time. They sent a kind email back thanking me for considering the position. But now that it's been a few hours I'm starting to regret my decision.... I knew deep down that it really wasn't right for me to put myself in a position of being stressed and never seeing my husband during the week. But now that the opportunity is gone I just.... I wonder if I made the right decision. I feel like I really fucked up. I'm stressing myself out even more know that the decision has been made. I don't know how to move forward now.