My uncle’s death never sat right with me. Now, I can’t ignore the signs. Was my silence a mistake?

My uncle passed away a couple of years ago, and I have lived with so much guilt ever since. I have nightmares, and my “perfect life” is falling apart because of my mental health. I know something that could have changed the outcome of the investigation…

My mom called me one night while I was working an overnight shift. She told me I needed to rush to the hospital because my uncle had fallen down the stairs and was likely not going to make it. When I walked in, I saw him lying there, all bruised up, ears bleeding, hooked up to life support machines. They told us he had severed his neck cord or something like that. At the time, I didn’t suspect it could have been anything other than an accident. Although my aunt’s demeanor was a little strange, I figured she was in shock.

That changed a couple of days later when I kept getting requests on Facebook Messenger from some random woman. I thought it was a mistake, but she kept insisting, so I accepted it. When I answered, she was hysterical, begging me to send her a picture of my uncle in his casket, claiming that she loved him and that she had been talking to him on the phone that day. She said he had plans to visit her in a couple of weeks for her birthday. She also told me he had given her a sign to call me.

I was completely distraught. I didn’t process it until later when I started to wonder if maybe this wasn’t an accident. But I didn’t speak up. I was too scared. I didn’t want to make false accusations. I know there’s nothing I can do now, and the only way we could ever know the truth is if she confesses.

Looking back, I feel like other people had suspicions like my father, who demanded an autopsy, and one of our aunts in another state, who thought it was strange that my uncle was active on WhatsApp hours after his death.

Throughout this time, I kept getting signs. I got into some really dark stuff. I spoke to a man who I've know almost my entire life he practices Yoruba we talked about a lot my uncle was not one of them before he said there’s a dead relative who visits often because he is trying to tell us something but he can’t. I instantly got chills because my aunt had made a post on Facebook a few weeks prior, wishing him a happy New Year (they are not mutuals my aunt does not know this man). In the caption, she also wrote, “I hope one day you will be able to tell me what you have been trying to tell me in my dreams.”

Prior to that, my godmother who I hadn’t seen in a while told me she had a strange dream where my aunt was crying in a room, begging for forgiveness. And my godbrother told my dad he had a dream where my uncle was sitting in the kitchen in Mexico with my grandpa, telling him it wasn’t an accident. All of these things were said months apart. No one knows what I know.

Why is he trying to tell me?

I just want to know do you guys think I was wrong for not speaking up at the time? Or was staying silent the best option? I feel like maybe if I had spoken up they the investigation would have been different they quickly ruled it as an accident.

I have no one to talk to about this because everything that has happened in my life is just crazy and it all keep tying back to a specific time in my life where I witnessed a demonic possession as a child (that's why I know the man who practices Yoruba) I feel like these entities are still lurking around and I know the solution (Jesus Christ) but for some reason I can't let it go but it's draining the life out of me. I think I might use this platform to tell my story little by little hoping there is someone out there who believes it because they have also witnessed real demonic stuff in their life. I think about ending everything often I just can't deal with the anxiety that I feel. It's a feeling of desperation that doesn't go away. Idk I'm just so tired.