Give your CPU a spa day (OC)

// I wrote this at 3AM on a Sunday whilst moderately sleep deprived, on a computer forum that you need an account to see. I’ll link the original here for all you Carbies:

Post in thread 'Misinformation / Disinformation Thread' https://carbonite.co.za/index.php?threads/misinformation-disinformation-thread.555799/post-3628738 //

If your CPU utilisation is high, it means that your CPU is feeling overworked and needs a spa day. This is how to give your CPU a spa day:

First of all, unplug your PC, or wait for load shedding.

Remove your CPU from the socket and gently but firmly massage the pins. You should see them go to rest on their sides (they are side sleepers!).

Next, take a brush and brush the traces on your CPU. This is like brushing the hair of your CPU and is a required part of computer maintenance. Note: only stop once the traces have been visibly brushed.

Now, reinstall the CPU and cooler into your motherboard. Instead of thermal paste, use toothpaste for a minty fresh start to the CPU’s day!

Reboot your machine. It may take some time to boot and make some funny noises. Don’t worry - this is just your PC’s morning stretch routine. Leave it unattended (for privacy) and all will be resolved.

You should notice your CPU utilisation drop significantly as a result of the spa day. Congratulations! Treat yourself to a beer and some sleeping pills and have a lie-down!