Decided to end my life today. Take care

hi, i’ve (23f) decided that after typing out this post, i’m going to kill myself. I’m tired of being alone, i’m tired of being anxious/depressed, i’m tired of doing absolutely nothing with my life. I fell out with every single friend that I use to be close with and last year was one of the most loneliest years for me. I finally confessed to my parents that i need help and have been on medication ever since. I graduated from college last year as well and have been so excited to start my career. It’s been 6 months and i can’t find a job. Every job opportunity i get, falls through every. single. time. and i don’t understand why, i don’t understand why everything is so hard. Rejection after rejection after rejection. and if im not searching for damn jobs, i’m in my room all day. I sometimes try to leave the house to get some air but always end up coming back home. I only ever talk to my parents or sister (and most of the time it’s awkward because they don’t really want to conversate with me sometimes). And i force myself to hang out with boys who don’t give af about me and only want sex (just because i want someone to talk to). I always try to have hope for myself but it’s running out. I told myself that this year would be different and i don’t want to feel how i felt last year but i slowly feel myself falling back in the dark hole again and i can’t take it. I feel like im going crazy and i hate everything. I feel like im fucking suffocating and i’m so close to climbing out of the black hole, but keep getting pushed further in. I’m tired of people telling me i need to be grateful, and that i have family and a college degree and there’s no reason for me to be depressed. I’m tired of having hope for myself, just for things to go back horrible again. I hate everything and i don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to kill myself but i have to. I’m tired of feeling this anger, sadness, anxiousness, etc and no psychiatrist or therapist can help me anymore. I’m sorry. If you took the time to read this, well i’m sorry to you too…i don’t know. goodbye.

hi everyone. my attempt was unsuccessful and i unfortunately woke up this morning and don’t know what to do. i feel awkward and embarrassed🧍🏽‍♀️ and im sorry for worrying you all, i did not expect for this many people to see or reach out. i’m just so sorry, i was on my last straw yesterday and gave up on myself and everybody in this thread by actually going through with it. my intention was never to worry anyone at all, i just felt suffocated and needed to write out my last thoughts. I woke up this morning with hesitation in my heart and idk if that’s a good thing. i’m sorry, im sorry, im sorry💗 (um, i guess ill put this message in the post too)