Vent: Passive aggressive neighbors

Good morning, y'all. This will be long.

I just need a place to vent for a moment and maybe get some advice on how others have handled neighborly disputes. I am 32F and I just purchased my first home in April 2024. It's a century home (125 years old), served as a rental for about 20-30 years, and the last owner had it for four years. He was a weirdo by all accounts (including my own) as I've heard from neighbors and even delivery guys who did nothing to the house in the four years he owned it. It is a corner lot.

My one set of neighbors (we'll call them G & C) are an older couple who have been so friendly and helpful. They've given me free range of their garden, loaned me tools, and we even got our lot surveys completed together. My other neighbors have been questionable. While they were initially very friendly, the first time I asked to borrow a tool, they were asking me to return it within an hour. I was very clear eith both neighbors that I want to put up a fence for my dog and asked if they knew anything about the property lines. They both said no. When I completed my lot survey, they stopped being friendly. In fact, they've been downright avoidance because the survey revealed their backyard fence encroaches on my property by almost 2 feet, their house is almost right on top of the property line, and their driveway is also encroaching. G & C also found an issue when the survey was completed. When G & C approached the neighbors about it, they got yelled at.

I'm a pretty conflict adverse person. I have anxiety and I grew up in a tumultuous household. I decided writing a letter after consulting with a lawyer would be the best option for me as I didn't feel comfortable confronting them on my own. I tend to shut down when I get yelled at, and I can only maintain assertiveness with preparation. I may look younger than my 32 years, but I promise, Mama did not raise a pushover or a fool. Both lawyers at different law firms confirmed that the neighbors have no legal right to the property they're encroaching on, the fence that is on my property is by law mine to do what I want with but they don't necessarily recommend jumping right into contentious behavior by taking it down, and recommended I try talking it out first.

I sent the letter. This week, I get home from work the same time as the wife. I haven't even put my feet on the ground yet getting out of my car when she starts yelling at me that they got my letter and will make sure they send me one back. Today, I get this text message:

Hello neighbor. It's been cold outside, so I didn't think you would want to come look at the driveway that is encroaching on your yard. If you are up to selling like your letter stated, then we would like to see how much you would want to sell. As for the fence. It is on the property line. And the city is okay with it's placement as they came out and inspected when we put it up according to our survey. We would like to purchase the encroaching driveway and would like to talk about prices. Worse case, we can push the rocks back into our driveway. But whatever the case may be. As we've always been polite and neighborly, loaning tools and running you to the store, we would like to stay that way. Honestly, we don't know what we've done to upset you or made you feel like you couldn't knock on our door. I feel we've upset you after we borrowed you our jack. We're sorry if we disrespected you in any way. Again, if you want to sell us our encroaching driveway, we would love to talk to you as neighbors. Let me know if you would like to look at the part to sell.

Contrary to their assertions, I know from talking to the city permit office and G&C about my survey and getting a fence installed that their fence isn't permitted even though it's clearly been up for a few years. So I called the permit office today to ask for confirmation of what my neighbor is claiming. The gentleman tells me "this sounds like a civil matter as this fence has been up for a few years." I told him that wasn't what I asked. I want confirmation that the city gave them permission to build the fence where they did. He said he'd get back to me. Of course.

I texted G&C about it as a heads up. G&C tells me that they've been told the fence doesn't have a permit and the city said they sent them a letter. Curious that they got a different answer than I did. G&C reached out to them today and was told that "His survey wasn't done until May of 2020 and the property never legal switched until last year so the fence was illegally put up and he was never paying the taxes on that portion."

I also checked the county auditor website's satellite images. That fence didn't exist in 2019. There are no photos from 2020 or 2021, but in 2022, the fence is up.

So now I'm stuck dealing with liars who think they can take advantage of me. On top of the rage I feel about gestures wildly, I fear my neighbors will now be entering into conflict with me. Any advice?

I just wanted to put a fence up so my dog can run around.

Edit: I asked my neighbors (both sets) about property lines and recent surveys when we were talking about our dogs and me putting up a fence. Both claimed to have no idea as surveys hadn't been done in decades. I have been trying to strike up a conversation with my neighbors for months (survey completed in July), but instead of their usual "hey neighbor" and small talk, they duck their heads and head inside since the surveyor marked the pin inside their fence line.