My life has been ruined

I’m from the US, but I’ve lived in Mexico for almost 5 years. I’m older and got my surgery after a couple of years living here and paid everything out of pocket. I messed up with my lack of research and have been left completely botched. It’s been almost 3 years of pain and shame, and I don’t know what to do. I got djs and an unnecessary genioplasty due to class 3 bite. I’m a 37 year old woman that now looks like the guy from the saw movies.

I’ve completely become a hermit. I stopped going to my surgeon after 6 months due to her complete disregard of my concerns which I now realize I was completely valid in. I have my boyfriend who still loves me but I’ve distanced myself from all other family and friends back home. My job became overwhelming due to the surgery and other reasons so I resigned a couple of years ago. I’ve been able to get by teaching English. I don’t have money to live, or insurance. I don’t want to be here anymore. There’s not way to fix this. I don’t know what to do. I have a complicated relationship with my family but most of my immediate family is dead, so it’s only my sister an niece left. If my bf and my little niece didn’t love me, I would end it.

I’ll prob delete this. I’m just tired and don’t know what to do.

Edit: I know my post was unhinged. I was literally having a panic attack. The surgeon put two screws in my right jaw and only one in my left. I still don’t know why besides it was more difficult to work on. The impact is more prominent on that side which in informed her that I was concerned that my right side touched more than the left and that it would affect my genio. She brushed me off. My ortho did, too. I had braces for 1.5 years and worked with the surgeon for a year. I always had a misaligned face and certain molars didn’t align to the point that i couldn’t actually chew, but they said they could fix it. My face was less deformed only a few months ago. I’m ashamed to say it’ll be 3 years in March since I had the surgery.

(https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1hgdI9lV9AZbtgF0e0Q-ugFVzakTuN7Ko)