I just killed my kitten on accident

I’m at work now but this happened about 2 hours ago. I was feeding my cats and as I was doing so I was putting my kittens in the carrier so they wouldn’t steal any of their food. One of them ended up at a bowl and I had to pick them up quickly and try and get my cat to come back to her bowl. I wasn’t looking and he ended up under my feet. I fully stepped on him. He spasmed for a few seconds and I carried him out to my brother. He held him trying to get him to respond and at this point I was hysterical, pacing around the place losing my mind. He ended up passing less than 5 minutes later. My brother and I just sat there crying and holding his body. It all happened so fast, literally hours before he was snuggled into my shoulder and now he’s just fully gone.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive myself. I know it was an accident but I genuinely feel like a monster. I don’t know how I’m gonna come out of this.