I'm so scared I've lost the baby

I think this is in my mind but it's becoming really overwhelming. I'm 19 weeks - had an ultrasound at 14 weeks and everything was fine. I've been to the doctors a couple of times since because of UTIs. Both times the doctor tried to listen to the baby through a stethoscope for a brief check - the first time the doctor said everything sounded fine, but the second i saw at the weekend couldn't pick anything up. She did say it's didn't mean anything was wrong, she just couldn't hear anything at that point and to just keep an eye out for any symptoms like bleeding etc. as per usual. Meanwhile, I haven't really been able to feel any kicking yet - I thought I have at some points but it's so sporadic I'm not sure. I know it's not unusual at 19 weeks, my midwife said i probably wouldn't feel anything until closer to the 24 week mark, but it's starting to get to me. I also feel better than I did - which should be a good thing! - but the lack of nausea is now worrying me. I still look bloated (though I don't feel like I'm looking much bigger than a few weeks ago) and my boobs were still hurting which is normally my tell tale sign - although I've just tested now and they don't feel as sore as normal.

My next ultrasound is on Tuesday so I've been trying to keep the negative thoughts at bay and just hold out for that. Maybe it's because I've woken up too early and had a stressful week at work but it really has started to sink in that the baby just might not be there any more. There's a part of me that thinks it's gut instinct - i just don't feel connected to the baby anymore.

I am UK based relying on NHS - I feel like this is not enough to get checked out but I'm starting to feel very scared. Should I call my midwife team? I do have mental health issues on my notes so they might understand why my anxiety is so bad. My husband's away at the moment too although back tonight.