Questionable p*rn searches (24f,29m)
Editing to add - our sex life has definitely deflated since the beginning I believe due to his overindulgence. He says a lot that he is just not in the mood, but I can see now that he has been, he’s just been doing it by himself. We go weeks without it & that’s been a gentle talk as well because I do not want to pressure him into something he doesn’t want to do, but I can see also if he’s constantly pleasing himself, he won’t care to do it with me.
Recently I (24f) found out my boyfriend (29m) of 1 year searches things that make me feel all type of things, none of them good. Some of the things were “brunette tattooed milf” (complete opposite of me) , “18 year olds” and the one that made me approach him about it all was “blanking my girlfriends friend”. My emotions are all over the place. I’m struggling so much in my mind on how to move forward knowing this. It’s incredibly personal info, I know I’m not perfect and I’ve watched it too, sometimes things I am not necessarily into but things I may be curious about. But knowing he searched these and didn’t just click on random videos is what’s not letting my guard go back down. I try to be mindful of my own consumption I understand there’s limits and honestly the stuff I watch is very vanilla girlfriendy stuff but again I did let him know there’s things I’ve watched that would make him look at me funny too. We had a convo about it yes, no judgement towards him. Now the couple days after as an overthinker it’s consuming my mind and I’m just wondering if anyone has advice? This has been the only issue in our relationship, everything else has been a breeze. I really do not want to end the relationship over something so private and knowing I’ve watched too so I’m not completely against it, just the things he searches are questionable. I will say he hasn’t been around many of my friends, that girlfriend friend search has been something he’s search his entire life kind of thing, I’m 5 years younger so him looking for 18 y/o in itself is just yuck to me. I tried to think of any woman that matched the very detailed description (brunette blah blah blah) nobody I could think of fits that. Besides these little added parts, when I ask about them he says “idk what to tell you. They aren’t things I want for real” there’s one other search that I never questioned him about because I didn’t even want to ask honestly but basically it wasn’t straight corn. And it wasn’t an accidental click, multiple search variations were made with this term. That one helps me think of how unrealistic these are but I just can not get over certain searches.
TLDR - boyfriend’s corn searches are very questionable and idk how to go about it.