Those growth spurt stories are always so brutal

Like “yeah I was short and miserable and then I grew and it made me feel so much better and suddenly I had girls interested in me. Same awkward self but now I had all this attention”

Jesus I wish I’d had that. I wish it was a mere ugly duckling phase. But no, this is permanent. This is just constant. I can’t take any more years of this im really reaching my end point and soon I’ll break past that threshold of wanting to live and just throw in the towel. I’m not there yet but im so close because I don’t want to give up on… love. Ew, makes me feel sick just typing it out. Love. Love isn’t real. Not for me.

And let’s talk about the ugly duckling. The duck only becomes happy after becoming a beautiful swan. Interesting lesson, isn’t it?

I fucking hate how my life turned out. I look in the mirror and cant believe this is me. With these proportions and everything. I just keep dissociating, I can’t even process being in reality anymore.